


Ms Hanji's Magic School Bus

by resplendentCaballer



Category: Magic School Bus, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, Gen, excessive dick jokes, i wrote this at like 1am and i did it in an hour so sempai would notice me, kinkmeme fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-11
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-19 03:37:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/878968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resplendentCaballer/pseuds/resplendentCaballer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A kinkmeme fill for the prompt:<br/>This was inspired by one of the many Armins on Twitter saying "'I really hope this is a normal field trip...' 'With the Titans? No way!'" And then this came to mind.</p>
<p>Basically, I really just want to see the 104th going on science-themed and science-breaking field trips... with Hanji as Ms. Frizzle. </p>
<p>Bonus points if:<br/>+ Armin, in place of Arnold, says "I knew I should have stayed home today"<br/>+ Mikasa being in Phoebe's place, complete with "At my old school, we never [insert situation here]."<br/>+ The ever-popular-in-Magic-School-Bus shrinking theme. The square/cube law can kiss Hanji's ass.<br/>+ To add to the above, they go inside either Annie, Reiner, or Bertolt, with descriptions of the anatomy in detail.<br/>+ A description of Hanji's weird outfit.<br/>+ Christa or Marco going "According to my research..."<br/>+ Anyone being Carlos. Ultramegasuperbonus if it's Ymir.<br/>+ Levi as Liz the lizard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ms Hanji's Magic School Bus

This was a class that everyone feared. Some trainees even purposefully avoided being in the top percentage only so they wouldn't have to take this class. However, the 104th had only learned about Ms Hanji's Titan Anatomy class when they saw it on their schedule.

"What the hell is this?" Jean said as they approached the large, yellow vehicle.

The woman that stepped out of the yellow monstrosity was a creature in and of herself. Her dress seemed to be decorated with... severed titan parts. She had little fingers for earrings and it was the most ridiculously... dumb thing any of them had ever seen. Of course, most of it looked like it was a replica, but some of the pieces... you couldn't be so sure. On her shoulder sat a very disgruntled lizard with uneven black hair. It looked like it really didn't want to be there. Well, at least it had something in common with the students!

"Good morning, class!" Ms. Hanji exclaimed. "Today we are going to explore the inside of a person! Let's all get on Irwin the bus!" she encouraged.

Figuring that this was just some sort of ridiculous scheme, the 104th squad began to file onto the bus until Ms. Hanji stopped one of them. "Whoa there, big fella!" she stopped Bertholdt. "I'm actually gonna need you to stay out here."

"Ah... ha... yeah. I guess that's okay," Bertholdt managed with a little smile, not knowing what lay ahead of him.

Hanji closed the door to the bus and sat down in the seat. "Okay, Irwin, ol' pal, let's get this shindig started!" Hanji exclaimed as she pulled a lever and the bus shrunk.

"Oh!" exclaimed Eren.

"Goodness me!" cried Christa.

"What the fucking shit?!" shouted Jean.

Hanji gave a hearty laugh and the lizard on her should covered its face with its palm. "We're shrunk down to size so we can fit inside mister Hoover, there," she explained.

"Pfft. If that's what you wanted to accomplish, why don't we just transform into Reiner's dick?"

"Ymir!" came the collective groan.

She blinked. "... What?"

Anyways. Ms. Hanji pulled out a megaphone and leaned out the window. "Mister Hoover! I'm going to need you to pick us up... and swallow us!"

"Again, why not just be Reiner's dick?"

The collective groan was silent but Reiner's fist nearly hit Ymir. Too bad she was more fast and flexible than Chinese lesbian gymnast. She tripped him and he fell face first on the bus floor.

Bertholdt gave a nervous laugh. "Um... okay?" he picked up the bus and sort of... just put it in his mouth like he usually put vessels full of humans inside him. Weird.

As they went down Bertholdt's throat, Mikasa scoffed a little and pulled her scarf tighter. "At my old class, we never were eaten by raging homosexuals."

"YOU TOO, MIKASA, REALLY?" Reiner shouted.

She gave him a strange look. Like why is this person talking to me like that.

"We have entered the stomach, class, and-- WHOA!" Ms. Hanji exclaim, "Sie sind das essen und wir sind die frizzle! I think Mr. Hoover is turning into a titan!" she said as if it wasn't obvious from the sudden steam and the fact that his stomach got really big really fast.

Armin shrieked and grabbed Eren's arm. "Damn it...! I knew I should have stayed in the barracks today!"

Hanji was having a science-gasm. "Ooo, no, that wouldn't do, Armin! Then you'd never get to witness the inside of a titan's stomach!"

Christa raised her hand. "Actually, according to my research, the chance is more than seventy-five percent that each one of us will be eaten by a titan, ma'am!"

Ms. Hanji whirled on her. "Miss, do not give me that sass." She mimped.

"Um..." Eren said, raising his hand slowly. "Can we just... get out of here before something bad happens?"

"..." Hanji remained silent for a moment.

"...?" the class waited expectantly.

"... Oh my fucking god I forgot to fill the gas tank," she admitted. Hanji took out the megaphone again, "MR HOOVER, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, PLEASE DO YOUR BEST TO THROW UP THE CONTENTS OF YOUR STOMACH! WE'RE IN A PREDICAMENT!"

The lizard Rivaille sighed and crawled into the glove compartment where it decided to stay until Hanji stopped being a moron.

"Are you telling us we're stuck in here!?" Jean cried.

Ymir snickered. "Stuck like Reiner's dick in Bertholdt's ass."

"YMIR!"


End file.
